She wrote on my evaluation and said to me, "You have the cleanest home I've ever seen. Your refrigerator is spotless."
I cling to those words right now as I scrape the sludge that is pooled in my fridge at the bottom in the back. I wish I would have framed the paper. I wish I had taken that comment to a tattoo parlor and had it transferred to my arm and permanently tatted it into my flesh.
For the last 2 years I have been working from home recreating furniture to help support our two oldest children through college. Tirelessly honestly, I've been working tirelessly, mostly because of my illness, everything is taxing on my body, on my energy, on my state of mind. I am so glad I have work I love. Work which pays me well, and affords me the freedom to still be in my home with my children and homeschooling.
But even though I love the work, even though I was just working in the garage, I was working. My full time work as a housewife fell many notches on the priority list. In the last year my home has just fallen apart. I say this and I realize that it's not fallen apart in a physical way certainly. It's certainly at a level of acceptability but it has fallen very far indeed from what I love, from what I need, from what I strive to create. The dust bunnies have colonized and formed a representative government. The CDC is wondering if the antidote to ebola might be growing in my fridge. UGH!
I continue to reclaim my home. Recreate all the systems and checklists that I relied upon but which have changed with my now almost grown up family.
As I slowly, very slowly reclaim each little piece, I fall in love all over again with my vocation as a housewife. This is the work I love, creating a clean, lovely, happy home, where we are well fed, and well nourished in body and soul.
Thank you again, Steve for providing for our family to allow me to be here doing the work I love. I am still working a little bit, because I enjoy it now. But my full time work is without a doubt back in my home.