When my baby girl was little I would clean her room and find myself sorting 172,359 Barbie accessories. Cleaning her room, MamaClean, was a task I had to accomplish every few weeks. As she grew into a moody teenager the very thought that I would enter the sanctuary of her room and snoop around and touch her things horrified her. So, as long as the Governor didn't come with the National Guard to declare a state of emergency I kind of left her alone to manage - except for the seasonal clean outs or the "I can't find any clean spoons and they are all in your room so NOW I'm cleaning it hissy fits" I would throw.

Today though I realized that downsizing our lives had not meant she had figured out how to downsize hers on her own. She is a wonderful decorator and very organized in her own right but even very grown up 16 1/2 year olds who can drive can occasionally use a MamaClean. Better yet, most of that moody teenager stuff is behind us, or at least 3 wks out of every month it is and she actually is receptive and grateful to have  Mom's help.

As tedious as sorting through push pins, flair, hair thingys, jewelry, notes, prayer cards, books, journals, cd's, dvd's, and a million other seemingly-unsentimental-but-critically-important-momentos, (like bubble gum wrappers from a trip we took) is I am thoroughly enjoying it.

The truth is, this is where I shine. I love to take care of these kiddos and those years when I am on-call but not always invited were grueling for me. Sadly, my oldest has entered the second phase of moody/I'll call you when I need you Mom years - the 21 year old.

I just want to go clean his apartment, buy him groceries and cook food for him. I want to bake him brownies and take him to breakfast and balance his checkbook. Um, yeah no. The brownies he would eat but the rest - not now. Funny when he lived at home he was the happiest one of all to see mom did his laundry, or cleaned his room, shampooed the carpets, changed his sheets. But now, yeah, not so much.

This bites.

I'm telling you I need another baby. I also need grandchildren. I need Gus and Caleb more. I'm taking those babies to McDonald's next week whether their mom likes it or not. I'm sure Amber will be greatly opposed to me taking the boys for the afternoon ; )

I am a mom. I like my job as it relates to ministering to teens. But I am growing to not like the BORING part at all. I really just do not like dealing with the boring grown up stuff - budgets and meetings and paperwork. dumb. boring. waste of my time and mostly not fun.

Those boring things are taking away from the stuff I like to do at home and for the teens I work with. I know it's necessary but it's my blog and I will complain here because I can.

New beds in for the kids, redecorating, a little spring cleaning, getting some MamaClean in and enjoying the looks on their faces as they rediscover their things, enjoy their rooms, and see in my effort how much I love them.


3:42 am

Insomnia is exhausting. I think the real problem is that I have my days and nights mixed up. Much like an infant I need someone to let me cry it out and then put me to bed with a bottle in a couple days... of wine of course