Stop me if I start eating toilet paper?

Confession. I love the Cozi calendar but I still have a giant dry-erase one calendar here by my desk with the colored wet erase markers. I can't let it go. I'm not ready. Baby steps.

My husband is so thrilled about a paperless wife you would think he was finally getting me house-broken. But there are a few areas I'm dragging in, possibly because I'm 40 (read as old) which is really the new 30 and I feel like I'm 27 so it's like I'm barely legal and therefore age shouldn't even be a factor in my technological reluctances. Or it could be that one of my cute and quirky little idiosyncrasies is a lifelong love for office supplies.

Stranger saying it aloud... now I'm thinking of myself as one of those TLC shows about strange obsessions like the woman who eats toilet paper or household cleanser... maybe I should stop here? Can a love dainty clippy thingys lead to a debilitating psychosis? nah.

So I have thing for office supplies, it's not against the law (in most states.) I like blue ink pens, and ballpoint pens and sharpies, and mechanical pencils and pretty papers, and cardstock, 60# linen, 20# watermarked, I like 3-hole punchers, and tape dispensers, and staplers (I like using the word "and") I like neat cups and metal organizers bin thingys. (I like things I can only refer to as thingy's) I like folders and as you know I like binders.

With the exception of a few areas - my copy of the monthly budget and my daily personal to-do list, I am almost paperless. 

Steve wants it. I know he wants it. I like my 10 key adding machine and the sound it makes. I feel so productive when I am adding faster than it can print. I like the check register and writing it all in the exact same ink, same writing (mine) and different colors of pens for different expenses. But, NOOOO we have it all online so we don't even need it now :sniffle:

I feel like the AM radio my dad keeps in his garden shed, that time has passed.

I may never teach kindergarten again. Yet, I can't let go of the play-dough tools. No one needs a step stool in the bathroom but I still look for it when I want to prop up one foot while I curl my hair, excuse me, straighten my hair. duh

Things are changing. I don't want to lose the bright bold primary colors of my life, those years with my kids still knee deep in childhood. I surrendered the pastels and softness of their infancy. I embraced the gray and black, the eclectic, and even the paisleys that came with teens.

In this season, though I want all the colors around me. I want to hold on to tiny parts of the past. Those colors on the calendar remind me of my whole life - wife, mom, teacher.

I realized what they say is always right. They say change is good. They say change is hard. Change is important. Change is necessary. Change is healthy. Yep, but okay "they" need to shut up, it's something different to everyone so all these apply!

What I am seeing in myself and in others isn't what I thought it was as it relates to these changes. It's not as if my life is changing overnight.

People always say stuff like, "I woke up one day and _____. I don't live my life obliviously so being aware that's happening is important to me. Instead, I am seeing it giving up somethings to start others. It's not CHANGE. It's just a shift, a series of changes. Most things stay the same, a few things shift. Most of the time. Our problem is that we never notice the gentle shifts. We avoid it until it feels like that awful change we dread. 

I love change. A woman who has moved 30 times - likes change. I love my Cozi. I'm keeping my giant calendar and my Wonder Woman planner which I'm letting you know should be buried with me. It like me will be worn out and ready to go when the time comes having used up all I had to give.


PS. Don't believe me about the moving? I'm 40 yrs old and I've lived in 30 houses. 
  1. Came home to Plank Rd, IN
  2. Moved Maple St., IN
  3. Back to Plank Rd, IN
  4. Louisville, KY
  5. Avondale, IN
  6. Grandma's, IN
  7. Avondale, IN
  8. Va. Beach, VA
  9. Norfolk apt 1, VA
  10. Va. Beach apt 2, VA
  11. Back to Avondale, IN
  12. New Albany Firehouse apt., IN
  13. House on Charlestown Rd, IN
  14. Avondale, IN
  15. Apt in Clarksville, IN
  16. Raintree, IN
  17. Hwy 62, IN
  18. Slate Run, IN
  19. Avondale, IN
  20. Sheppard AFB, TX
  21. Hunters Crossing, TX
  22. Sheppard AFB, TX
  23. Power Circle, MS
  24. C St., MS
  25. Kensington, MS
  26. Scotland, TX
  27. Wichita Falls, TX
  28. Biloxi, MS
  29. Troy, IL
  30. Edwardsville, IL
PSS. Not sure this post had any purpose at all. For some weird reason, I needed to write it.

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