"June" is busting out all over

Not the month - June Cleaver!

So I am enjoying my 50's style home and giving it a hip clean look so much. I love my neighborhood. Tall, old trees, and neighbors who have lived her for 30 years. This afternoon, the house was neat as a pin, simple and free of the trappings of stuff. William was playing at the Church playground across the street, Taylor was at a friends, Steve was at work. I was making supper, the window above the sink was open and it looks out on the covered porch and yard. Finches fought at the feeder and squirrels battled for the scraps below, since the feeder is "squirrel frustrating."

It was very quiet in the house except for the tv in the kitchen which was turned down low. I wasn't really watching and then the theme music for Young and the Restless came on.

I was transported back to being a little girl in my grandma's house. Her busy, only window air conditioning in the heat of the day, and her stories on the television. That house holds the most wonderful and also the most painful memories of my life. Weird they can both live in the same space. I felt almost like I was her. Her and my mom. 

This house is becoming a home. Not that I will grow roots. I never ever let that happen. Houses are tricky things. They look permanent but they aren't. Sometimes they hold you in, hold you back and become a prison. Sometimes, they are a refuge when there is no where to turn. Good or bad they are a trapping of this world. Too much attachment is not healthy. They burn, they fall down when storms blow and the waters can come and swallow them up.

The big bad wolf can always get in, always. I don't care what you build your earthly house out of.

I found our old house went from a dream to an impossible dream. I sought constant improvements, was never quite content. I felt it's flaws constantly and even though there were many things I loved about it, my attachment to it could well have been our demise. Too big, too many stairs to fall down, or up! Too much, too much. 

I grew up in a home that had three bedrooms, one tiny bathroom and was about 860 square feet AFTER the large addition. My grandma's house, my second home was smaller. I remember I could sit in one spot in the living room and roll a marble into every room with a slight bank shot in the corner to the bathroom. 

I don't want to live the good life anymore. I want to live A good life. 

I received the most glorious call this week from the parents of one my teens. My Life Teen room is stacked with items for the pregnancy center, my beautiful daughter sang to me a truly jaw dropping, original song yesterday. Writing, composing and playing in ways and with talent I only dreamed about. My little boy cleaned his room, brushed his teeth and did his school work at his desk in only a couple hours ON his own. My handsome oldest is making a life for himself. Having learned a couple lessons he is doing what he has always done - coming back better and stronger and with a good girl by his side. 

I can tell you, I treasure no "things." Maybe 'cause we lost it all, maybe 'cause I am cheap, or maybe I don't have good taste. I don't know, I just don't. I do love my iphone but not that much.

I didn't grow up in the 50's but I wish for it these days --- with smartphones. 50's and smartphones :)

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