What I have to give is precious. My gifts were given me by my Father and He does not want me to waste them on people or things that do not have the capacity to appreciate or benefit from them.
I spent vastly less time this last year than I have in years past, feeding the dogs (even then they turned and attempted to tear me to pieces) thank goodness. I turned a corner last year in this way and it turned my heart toward God and family profoundly. Guess what, my gifts were not trampled under foot. No one turned on me. If you are following me here- it's like, what He says, is true. I know it's crazy! So my time on earth is limited (so is yours). My moments, my strength, my energy, my prayers are important and offering them to God first, that is my call. Offering them to be used for His purposes, whole new ball game.
Dogs and swine devour whatever is given them. They cannot discern good foods from scraps. The very best of me is good. God says "very good." I did better this past year a million times better, and here I am only at lesson 1. I need to continue to offer God the best of me and not the scraps.
God is so generous with His children. So giving I am just beginning to understand that I didn't even understand! This great epiphany- I have not even scratched the surface of His generosity, cannot even grasp it! Everything I asked for was given me this year. Every prayer, answered. Many not in the ways I imagined but as the year pressed on I began for the first time in my life to surrender to His will in my every day. In great and small things on a level wholly foreign to me. See, usually I would really pray when things felt wrong. God and I would come up with a good plan, a solid plan. A plan we could both be excited about as Dr. Phil would say and then I would set out to do my part. I worked hard at my part too.
This year I felt God calling us in a different direction I prayed about it and decided - indeed! He means People of Praise, that means Colorado Springs = send out the resumes. I worked hard on it. I spent hours looking for jobs, applying (for Steve of course) I looked at apartments, you name it. The deeper prayer of my heart was a new job for Steve, a new direction, or a better direction, for our family, no more travel. It was actually a pretty simple prayer which I had succeeded in making very complicated.
We returned home to an email waiting at Steve work. An email which, unlike all the other emails over a month, had not been forwarded by the USAF server to our personal account. There was this lone email, a job offer here, a great offer. A couple days later a new job was secured within the company, no travel, problem solved. We didn't need a resume. No monsterjobs.com account, nothing. God just did it. I scurried around tossing pearls to swine you might say, instead of just asking my Father for a fish.
I was floored. Humbled. Embarrassed. Overjoyed. Relieved.
From then on He has continued to school me in His generosity. My education in His love has been powerful. I'm entering into a level of surrender unfamiliar to me friends. Every new experience with Him is like meeting Him for the first time. It's all so new. The control freak is not freaking out.
This passage, I've read a billion times, okay exaggeration, a dozen times, it's basic - God is good.
Oh, no, I mean... good.
No, no, I mean GOOD!
This year I taught my Life Teens the mantra - God is good, all the time. I said it for months. Then I started to get it. Then I started to believe it. whoa.
And that's where 2010 ended. So 2011, I don't know what He is gonna do but it will be GOOD! I can ask basic prayers, and surrender it. It's so simple. I trust Him or I'm learning to and all I want for 2011 is to work on those two verses.
(and take a cooking class!)
Happy New Year,