O Come Let Us Adore Him

Tomorrow I have the great honor of facilitating XLT, or Exalt. Adoration, praise and worship of our Lord and Savior present body, blood, soul and divinity in the Eucharist.

I think of the shepherd tending their sheep. Was the birth of this king, like taking an exit ramp to see the world's largest ball of twine? No. They didn't breeze through, stop, look, snap a photo and move on. They didn't say, okay check, we saw him can we go now? They didn't nudge one another and ask how long should the stay.

How long did they stay?

minutes, hours, days

How long could be long enough? How did they pull themselves away? How do you go back to work after an experience of God in the flesh?

I find myself every week, longing to stay in the Mass. Longing for Jesus, to stay in His presence. Why would I ever want to leave. What could the world hold for me that could tear me away? Nothing. I
A week of epiphanies.

So much guidance this week from my precious Lord! I learned this week that time must also be tithed. We are called in the New Testament to really discern only what we should keep. It isn't about how much to give God, it's all about what we should keep. And so it is with our time. Every second that ticks by on the clock of our lives is a gift. Each moment could be a gift to Him, if we weren't living in this broken world perhaps. Instead we discern how to parse out our time.

I learned this week, when I step out in faith and offer Him all my time and talents. He will bless me abundantly.

I woke up and fixed my gaze on how He would have me spend my day bringing Him glory, honor and praise. I knocked, He answered.

I focused on the next thing and rejected the urge to multi-task myself into a frenzy. I tried to work till completion to seek Him, serve my family, serve the Church and pursue the life of a Proverbs 31 woman.

What a blessed week it was. Not without great and trying times I'm afraid. Some of the most painful moments I have experienced in a long time. Yet, I conclude this week feeling more peaceful, content, and blessed than I have in a long time.

Mundane... no, Monday!

Morning take two. If I need to go back to bed after Steve leaves, I do. So.

Another confession, as a homeschool mom most days we don't start our work until 9 or 10:00 am. Does that sound insane to you moms? I know most homeschool books and articles talk about moms getting up at 5 am but take my word on this - it's not always necessary. When the work doesn't take all day exactly what is the point of denying children or myself the proper amount of rest?

Mondays can be rough, mostly for me. Spending most of Sunday at Church, usually somewhere between 4-6 hrs on my feet with the teens, setting the room, singing, worship, etc I feel it in every muscle in my body the next day. I am a feelin' it today.

The calm and quiet morning will slowly begin to give way to study and work. For now and for the next few moments, it's only coffee, music that inspires my soul, a sweet little boy in a batman costume (which he will likely wear all day) an older son just hanging out doing some laundry and a teenage girl moving at a snails pace as the reality of a new week makes itself known to her once again.

The best part of homeschooling is the home. They are with me, my children, my babies, my wonderful little companions on this journey and we are in our home.

My house would be silent without them. A little quiet I can do, but silent all day, everyday. Um, no. When I think of the 10,000 things William will discover today, the heroes he creates, imagines, and draws, the ideas and plans he concocts - I wonder what it would be like to miss it? I think of the conversations, laughter, we share all day - I couldn't give it up. I don't want to miss a thing. Not one thing.

When we began to homeschool some 13 yrs. ago, I was not a patient mother. I was often frazzled. I had some confidence in my abilities but I was often troubled with doubts and worries. I prayed for God to give me patience, increase my capacity to love, to die to myself and be more like Him.

He gave me the call to homeschool. He made an inpatient, selfish, self-centered girl into the wife and mother my family deserves (most days.) The gifts to me are countless. But above all, I do not doubt myself. I don't constantly question my decisions or judgments, I don't feel like a failure at every turn. Again, I still have those moments but they are fleeting, they never hold me captive.

There are some exciting things planned in our little homeschool today and I can't wait to get started! A bit of tidying before we settle in and maybe some time to play a game oh and one more cup of coffee.
I've heard it many, many times. I've been taught it, read books about it, prayed about it, and been counseled to do it for the better part of the last 10 years. If I am being completely honest with you though, I dismissed it out of hand each and every time.

Releasing. Surrendering. Giving it all over to God. Letting go, and letting God. Those "thoughtful words of help and hope had all been nicely said" but I didn't believe it and more importantly I didn't have the first clue how to do it.

For all the times I was told to let God be in control of my life, no one ever told me how it should look.

Where do you begin to do this?

As I look back I can't remember the very moment it happened. Like most important faith conversions they rarely happen in a moment but more often over the course of time and recognized perhaps in a moment of clarity.

For me, it began when I started to realize how many areas of my life were just not working.