This year I made the very best turkey --- ever! I make a mean turkey, period but this was the best. This was art, a poultry masterpiece. He (Thomas the turkey) was flavorful, moist, even the leftovers were dripping with juices after camping out in the fridge all night. Martha Stewart sat around Friday wishing she had made a turkey so spectacular as mine. He was the perfect color. He should have been photographed! I thought Fox was going to send Rick Leventhal to interview me but there was a major international incident that called him away.
I have a secret recipe. Call me Colonel.