I hope I get this right now...

Third time's charmed?

I have written two drafts and I cannot express this correctly!

I am and have been for weeks very focused on um...focusing. It seems the more I try to focus sometimes the more difficult it is to do so but when I put myself on auto-pilot I breeze along fairly well. I work very well under pressure most of the time. Afterwards is when I crash typically. My favorite times in playing sports were when games came down to the wire.

Did you ever see the game on the Price is Right where the contestants would run around and put the prices on the items then pull the lever and check their progress? I do that a lot. My current focus mission is school and how to overcome very specific areas that became problematic in years past- like being out of the house too much.

I don't like to run around and though I am social and sanguine I prefer the comfort and relative peace of my home to a hectic schedule. I am only willing to give up one day a week for volleyball this year. As much as I might waiver or feel drawn to opportunities to see our dear friends (let's be honest my friends) we will not do the co-ops or other activities that take us away from school unless and until the children and I can prove that we can truly get the job done and only if we can find a way to have calm in the storm of it all.

So rather than go on I will stop there. This is as coherent as I have been able to be about these thoughts so far and I don't want to mess it up by over-thinking it.

We must do school. Getting my kids to heaven, giving them the education they deserve, and running my home well are the only priorities - all things must be weighed in the light of those core goals without excuses.

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