To tweak, or not to tweak, better yet where and what to tweak...

No not my eyebrows, did that this weekend...ouch.

I'm referring to contemplating the new year and how it relates to our school. I realize I will face many tough decisions. Homeschoolers have so many wonderful choices now! Almost too many. We will begin playing volleyball in a few weeks, music lessons, and a new session of co-op classes. We may even start book club again, that was fun.

I am constantly working to find a balance between our own school activities and the things we enjoy (just us) and the organized opportunities available to us. It's challenging. I think we do a pretty good job but it's work and doesn't happen without thought, prayer, effort and organization. So I am tweaking again. I love that we have the freedom to make these choices! I treasure this freedom!

One thing I know is that this calling requires me to be ever, always flexible. Rigidity is not compatible with homeschooling in my humble opinion. If you aren't really tuned into the children, to your home and to the reality of the situation you will miss important opportunities for growth.

One element I have missed, one opportunity for growth, is that I have not been tuned in to to my own personal needs much over the last couple years. I have quieted the personal desires of my heart, ignored the signs of complacency, boredom, loneliness, and I have failed to recognize that I have changed.

Please do not misunderstand, I am very happy. But as moments and seasons have passed I have been too busy to recognize that I miss time alone with friends and nurturing those friendships. It has not been some deep pervading loneliness, but rather an absence of the boost that my adult relationships bring to my spirit. I stopped challenging my mind a little bit with the heavy readings and studies that I so enjoy. I stopped exercising, and found more pressing needs to fill than my own. As a result I've missed opportunities.

So as I tweak this semester I will be weighing more of my needs into the equation. I know intellectually how important it is to care for myself, and to stay energetic. I know I am a better mom, wife and teacher when I am personally fulfilled, challenged and nurtured. I know it. But it is so easy to push that aside to lead this event, or meet that obligation. Then slowly ignoring those needs becomes easier. Thankfully I recognize this area of imbalance and can bring it back into a healthy place in a few weeks.

Lord please help me to always seek the balance that will best enable to fulfill all that you have called me to be and to do.


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