A whirlwind visit to Indiana and back home again for Christmas. Whew! It was so good to see everyone this year. With so many years spent away it feels good to be this close and reestablish some traditions with family and friends. DH came down with a touch of the stomach flu and slept all the way home. He rode the couch all day on Christmas Eve.
I finished the wrapping and tried to pull off as many of our Christmas Eve traditions as possible. A few fell to the wayside but ah well, they are meant to enrich our experience not burden us by frantically trying to create a "moment".
So while Big Daddy was holding down the sofa and trying not to throw up his shoes, Corey had to jump in and take up the slack. About 8:00 pm I sent him to the gas station to buy candy for their stockings! I told him, "Son, welcome to Christmas behind the scenes...you will be filling your own stocking this year!" He stayed up with me and helped me bring down the gifts, arrange them, clean up and straighten the house and polish off the cookies and milk. That part was his favorite I think ;)
I couldn't help wondering how many more Christmas Eve's I would have with Corey. I know he is only 17 now, but that means they are truly numbered. Maybe what, 4 or 5 left with him at home? Oh how that breaks my heart! But then there was this Christmas. It was a completely different experience with him, maybe God's way of beginning to prepare me for change, a glimpse of the future? I am trying so much to begin the process of letting go a little.
I have loved every part of being mommy so far, I want so much to enjoy the stages to come when they begin to move into adulthood but it is difficult. I want to hold them close to me, and never let them go. I long for the days with Corey and his chubby cheeks, endless energy and wide eyed wonder. My life has been devoted to my children for so long that I am struggling even considering the idea of life without caring for them 24/7.
Thankfully, my babies are spaced out so that I have PLENTY of time to adjust to the changes! Though Corey will be moving into adulthood this year Taylor is but 12, and William only 7!! So I have more than enough years to make these changes and adjust (whew). Still, realizing Corey is indeed becoming a young man has made me take a closer look and begin the process of moving into a new season in my life.
Please Lord give me all the grace I need to welcome these changes, and face the new challenges that motherhood of a young adult will bring.
Happy New Year!