An excerpt from Screwtape proposes a toast, by C. S. Lewis (without a doubt my favorite author)

"It is a serious thing to live in a society of possible gods and godesses, to remember that the dullest and most uninteressting person you can talk to may one day be a creature which, if you saw it now, you would be strongly tempted to worship, or else a horror and a corruption such as now meet, if at all only in a nightmare. All day long we are, in some degree, helping each other to one or other of these destinations. It is in the light of these overwhelming possibilities it is with awe and the circumspection proper to them, that we should conduct all our dealings with one another, all friendships, all loves, all play, all politics. There are no ordinary people. You have never talked to a mere mortal. Nations, cultures, arts, civilizations-these are mortal, and their life is to ours as the life of a gnat. But it is immortals whom we joke with, work with, marry, snub, and exploit-immortal horrors or everlasting splendors. This does not mean that we are to be perpetually solemn. We must play. But our merriment must be of that kind (and it is, in fact, the merriest kind) which exists between people who have, from the outset, taken each other seriously-no flippancy, no superiority, no presumption. And our charity must be real and costly love, with deep feeling for the sins in spite of which we love the sinner-no mere tolerance, or indulgence which parodies love as flippancy parodies merriement. Next to the Blessed Sacrament itself, your neighbor is the holiest object presented to your senses. If he is your Christian neighbor, he is holy in almost the same way, for in him also Christ, vere lavitat- the glorifier and the glorified, Glory Himself- is truly hidden."

As I do with all his writings I am humbled, convicted, and challenged. The first challenge for me is attmepting to truly grasp that we are all immortal. Some with heavenly immortaity and some with horrific. I immediately set about thinking of who will go where. It is so easy to imagine my children as heaven bound, and the worst criminal as hell bound, but then looking at the "ordinary person...well that is different. Then I am painfully aware that I am among those that are difficult to discern, and though my children are blessed and beautiful their fate is their own to decide. yikes. I could meditate on that all day long.

I impact the path of everyone I come in contact with? I nudge them along, or shove them along. I

A girl can dream...

Some where over the rainbow
Way up high
There's an appliance that I dream of
That can get all my clothes dry.

Somewhere over the rainbow,
Clothes get dry
Clothes dried in less than an hour
so quickly I could cry.

If dryers dried like washers wash then
weekends would not just be a wash and dry thing.
I might see daylight, trees and more
Than in the basement such a boring Saturday.

This doesn't rhyme so perfectly but nonetheless it comforts me
and so I don't care.

Sorry, I know that was bad...but seriously, seriously, seriously! Did I say SERIOUSLY?? WHY can't dryers dry as fast as washers wash, or half as fast?? It is a constant struggle!! I know I am not alone. there a lesson to be learned here? hmmm...

When something gets dirty it takes longer to clean it up?
nah, that's's official today there is nothing to learn from laundry except that it takes up my whole freakin' Saturday because the dryer cannot keep up~!!

anywho-it'll be here when I get back I am out of the basement and off to a cookout!

not just too little time

I lay in bed last night, my mind assaulted by all I have on my plate. All good things but so many. How do I gain some control over this schedule to fit in all I want to accomplish? I keep catching myself looking for some book, or article with some little technique or tip that that will help me to prioritize and work through each task so I can add some more, but there aren't any.

There are 'get your house organized' books, but I don't need those. The house is organized and if it weren't I would be the best gal for the job since I live and breath organization. The organization is in place I just need time to perfect it. I don't need a designer to finish this house or give me a plan or vision, I have both of these. I don't need a painter, I love to paint and I am pretty good at it too. I don't need a landscape architect, I know what I want in my yard. The crew now....that I could use!

I have a volleyball team I coach, and a league I want to create as well as a youth group I lead, and both of these are near and dear to me. I love the kids, I have fun. I have freecycle groups I moderate as a little contribution to a greener planet. I have a ministry at the farm I helped to create and I am passionate about. I could work all day, everyday to see it reach it's potential. Of course, I have kids I love, and I love homeschooling them. I could write for hours about the ideas, and plans I have for them to do interesting things, research, and activities that are never fully realized. I have a hubby I love to date and spend time with. I have two dogs I want to walk, and Lord knows we could use that little exercise! I have great friends, like my family I never get to see enough.

Then there are those things just for me. Scrapbooking I haven't picked up in months, singing in church that I feel I can't quite commit to because I will not be able to follow through. Singing in a band again, learning an instrument, taking karate, learning to swim, reading, bike riding, exercise, laying in the hammock and just napping.

I get to do these things only in the smallest doses. I keep turning my life, my chices, my weekly schedule, my daily activity over and over in my head like a Rubik's cube, trying to figure out what I am doing wrong that I can't quite get it all in the way I want. I think it's okay to do this. I want more.

It makes me feel like a wretched failure sometimes to know I can't get it all done and I can't get it all done perfectly but I get over it short order, possibly because I don't have time to sit around and ponder failure, there is good stuff to do.

And, it isn't that I don't want to do these things, it isn't that I wish I had less to do. Not at all. I am not bemoaning my schedule and wishing I hadn't made this choice or that offer.

The schedule may seem overwhleming, but I don't feel that way, and if I do it passes quickly and it's not most of the time. The frustration for me is always that I want to do more. I want more time!

We get this life, and that is it. I want to do everything. I want to give everything I have. When I leave this earth I hope I am exhausted! I hope I have nothing left to offer. No gifts I didn't share, no person or cause I didn't try to assist. No one I loved wondering how deeply I loved them.

I know that God has blessed me, saved me, given me so much. I have many, many gifts. I don't say that to brag. You have them too. Yes, you do. I don't want to waste any of them. A good example is this...I am not the best volleyball player, not by a long shot! There are volumes of stuff I don't know about volleyball. But I know some, and I am trying to share what I have with some great kids. The things I do aren't perfect, some of my efforts miss their mark, like a big fundraiser I organized last weekend that could have been twice as successful. But I try.

That's all you can do. Try. It's all God asks of us, try.

It's all I can today or any day...try.