Well it's raining literally and figuratively and so- yep it's pouring. The van died a painful death doing 70mph on the interstate last week, cost so far $1000, and that's if the transmission isn't dead too. The Cowboy lost a grandma, and chaos seems to be the general order of the day.
I am thankful the van had the decency to die on the home court seeing as how we are leaving for a little mini-vacation in 3 days. Could (as always) have been worse, much worse.
But here is the thing..I was reading a dear friends blog today and she had shared some highlights of the their life over the last weeks. It was a glowing list of about 30 beautiful sweet little things the kids did, said, and that she felt. It was so beautiful. You got this warm fuzzy impression that they live this perfect life with perfect kids and their faith filled, joyful world is untouched by the realities that seem to chase, pin down and count out the rest of us. But I know them, and that is JUST not so. They have dirty dishes and laundry and stress, and loss and they have it all at least as much as the rest of us.
But for a brief moment I felt like a failure. What was I doing wrong that I wasn't having this perfect life! I quickly remembered truth and rejected any ideas of comparison. I have learned to do this is a tool of the enemy. So I just don't give in to it. I thought, you know I could easily write, even today when it seems to be "pouring", a list of highlights.
- All my children woke up healthy, happy, strong, safe, and blessed
- My hubby went off to his very good, stable job
- I drove our second car while the other was in the shop
- I played and laughed and joked with my sons
- My hubby told me how much he loved me more than a few times
- Help was offered when it was needed
- I came home to a beautiful, warm home and two sweet dogs
- I filled my stomach with good food, and chocolate
- I chatted with my sweet baby girl, and just smiled thinking about how much she has grown
- I watched tv, and tinkered on the computer
- I had a long talk about much of nothing with my mom, bless her heart and she, my dad, brother and my grandma are alive, well and healthy
- I played superheroes with my little guy, and he learned some new letters today
- My teenager hugged, kissed, and told me he loved me, like he does every day
I could go on and on. I could write an equal list about laundry, dishes, an odd smell in the kids bathroom, bills that need paying, FEMA, and (legitimate) gripe after griper after gripe. But I just can't do it. I think like my friend I prefer to focus on the blessings and not the struggles. If you follow this at all and think my life is a rose garden, you would be right and wrong. I think it is. But looking at the reality of it you may not think so. It is just life, it is real. It's good, and not so good sometimes.
When I look out my window tonight it is indeed raining. It is raining in this house too, and it is in fact pouring. Pouring more blessings into a cup that is overflowing.